Thinking of Christmas, 2020
- Dr Venetia Young -
Of course Christmas Day won’t be cancelled! And of course Christmas will be different. How can we as individuals, families and a community get to Christmas Day with equanimity and even a bit of joy? It may be that families simply can’t or shouldn’t physically get together. You can still be happy.
Solution focussed thinking is just about that very thing. It recognises that you don’t get to feel happy by moaning all the time - though sometimes a focussed moan helps by sharing with an empathic listener! Remember while doing this exercise you can only change yourself and not other people!
Below are some questions to guide you. Sit with a pen and paper answering each one thoughtfully and in as much detail as you can think of:
How would you like to feel when you wake up on Christmas morning?
Where are you on a scale of 0-10 feeling about Christmas time right now? 0 is bad and 10 is superb but possibly unachievable! What number do you want to be on that scale on Christmas Day?
What have you been doing already to improve your ability to have a happy Christmas Day?
What will you have done to get yourself 1 step up the scale. What else? What else?
When are you going to do these things? Which one first?
When do you want to feel at 8-9 on the scale about Christmas? On the day or well before?
Supposing you have lost someone dear to you this year, how would they want you to feel about them and remember them on Christmas Day? What has to happen over the next weeks to enable you to feel as they would want you to feel?
Imagine that during Christmas Eve night while you are asleep a miracle happens, and all the small Christmas niggles disappear and you can cope brilliantly with the day. Because you are asleep you don’t know that this miracle has happened. What will be the first thing that you notice? How will you feel? How will you think? What will you do? Who else will notice that you are calm and happy? What will they see?
Well done! You have worked hard.
When will it be a good idea to repeat these questions to yourself? Is there anyone in your family who would like to do the exercise too? How are you feeling now on a scale of 0-10 about Christmas?
Happy Christmas!!